we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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