At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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