none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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