I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
