batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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