so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
