piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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