wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I want a musical about memes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
