She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
