Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
