what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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