i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
