u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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