He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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