New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
