Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
