when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize