he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
