You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
