i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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