Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
