I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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