I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
