You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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