im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
