I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
