I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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