Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
