Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
