I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
