i barfeds in our rink
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
