Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
