i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
