dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Panties = found
Randomize
