New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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