I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
