also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
