it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
