note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
