This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
