I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
...so i touched it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
