K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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