I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
