so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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