You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
