You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
