so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my liver is dry heaving
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
