NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
