stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
