Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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