Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
