member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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